My relationship life was based on two television shows growing up: One Tree Hill and Dawson's Creek. On the latter of the two, I was the girl-next-door Joey Potter who spent more of her adolescence trying to convince her best friend to love her.
Unlike Joey and Dawson, we never gave it a legitimate try. My Dawson always found reasons not to. I was good enough to be his best friend with "girlfriend benefits" but never good enough for that actual title and the commitment that comes with it. Between relationships, we'd always find ourselves at the same crossroad. I'd always want to take that leap of faith and he would claim to have the same desires only to change his mind in the end. Looking back on it now, why would he make that relationship leap? He had the best of both worlds: me there whenever he needed me and still the freedom to do as he pleased with whoever he pleased. Just as Dawson did throughout many seasons, he took advantage of the fact that Joey would always be there.
After ten years of things never changing, I gave up last month. Under normal circumstances, I'm a very strong advocate of always fighting for the things you want, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But I think maturity is knowing when to separate the things you want from the things you need. After severing all ties with my real life Dawson Leery, I received a text yesterday of him wanting to give us a real try. I've thought about it non-stop since then. Actually, I think obsessed over it would be a better description. I waited ten years for this and now he's finally saying it.
Nope... not a chance.
You know how this story ends? Joey ends up with Pacey because Dawson waited ten years to finally give a damn.
