What if the one that got away came back?

I fell in love.  Three years ago.

But there was a HUGE problem.

Now we both have separate lives and lovers.  Insignificantly enough, we both have significant others.  Only time will tell.  Time will turn and tell. - Anberlin

We never crossed that line but I knew in my heart this person was the one I was supposed to be with.  This person ended their relationship and I ended mine shortly after.  Only to have this person return to theirs mere days later.  The next few years were full of that.  A lot of back and forth.  A lot of actions I'm not proud of.  A lot of loneliness.  And a lot of hope.

Fast forward to today.  Three years later.  The timing couldn't be more perfect.  It was as if the entire universe got together and finally decided we deserved our dream. We decided to give it a try.  Finally.

As you may have already guessed, this isn't a fairy tale.  This story doesn't end with us defying odds and being together.  In fact it ended terribly.  I've spent the past month in a place I never thought I'd return to.  

Out of respect for this person, I'm not going into details.

What I will say is...

I love this person tremendously.  I've thought I was in love with other people but this has been the only person I was ever completely sure of.  I can't just turn off that switch and pretend I don't have these feelings.  I think a part of me will always have those feelings.  But in the wise wise words of Miss Swift, WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

There are several purposes for sharing this story here.  One is to put to rest the rumors/speculations floating throughout the social media world.  I'm like a little kid at Christmas when it comes to relationships.  I want to show EVERYONE my new toy.  This gets me in trouble sometimes because when the toy breaks (relationship ends), everyone wants to know every sordid detail since I paraded it in their face up until that point.

Another purpose of sharing this here is to defend atypical relationships.  One thing I learned from Big/Carrie and Whitney/Sara is to let NO ONE define your love but you.  Just because your love doesn't look like someone else's doesn't mean it isn't love.  I've spent the past few months... well three years, actually... being told what love is supposed to look like, what a relationship is supposed to look like, what a girlfriend is supposed to do, etc.  Don't misunderstand me, this relationship was definitely doomed from the start and a lot of things transpired that were not at all my fault, but my desire to make it something it wasn't certainly played a large role in that demise.  YOU know what you want.  So what if it's not what everyone else wants?  Stop trying to put YOUR relationship in a box.

Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together.  But sometimes things just fall apart.  And that's okay.  Be okay with that.  YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY.  You know what's awesome about your heart breaking?  It means you're able to feel which means you're ALIVE.  It may mean you have to fight like hell to make it whole again, but YOU'RE ALIVE.

Sara is like scabies. You can never totally get rid of her.

The episode begins with Showtime trying to trick us into thinking Whitney and Romi are together.  I don't know what non-Twitter universe they seem to think we're living in but both girls have been very vocal about their current relationships so we all know that wasn't the case.  Nice try, though, Showtime.  And kudos to Whitney on the new car.. movin' on up.

I'm not impressed with any of the New York cast.  Maybe it should have been more diverse.   Having everyone from the same band just seems very one dimensional. Maybe these ladies will grow on me.  From what I've read, the general consensus is that everyone else that watches agrees.  The awful freestyle from Amanda's friend didn't help too much with the ratings either.

The Cori/Kacy storyline is going to be really heartbreaking.  For those of you who don't know what happens, I won't say too much.  Also, shameless plug, check out the blog Kacy wrote for Open Our Eyes regarding her faith: openoureyes.org/2012/07/10/catholic-not-christian-kacy-boccumini.

House of Whitney's exes.. there should probably be a revolving door.  Other than Cori/Kacy, these seem to be the only ladies I'm really going to like this season.  Too bad they're not main characters.  The highlight of it all was Rachel's reaction to Romi's BJ comment.  Someone please please make a GIF of this.

When Alyssa runs back to Whitney to gossip about the bi-bomb that Romi dropped, my favorite thing to ever come from Whitney's mouth occurs: Why would anyone cast her out for that reason?  There are so many more to choose from.

Okay, and now my rant begins...

I'm at my breaking point with the GLBT community leaving out the B.   Bisexuals are not confused.   Bisexuality is not a pit stop on the way to Gaytown.  It's not being greedy.  Or double dipping, as some people like to joke.  Some people are attracted to both men and women and NEWSFLASH: that's okay!  The community as a whole is so allergic to the term bisexual and it's disheartening.  Stop with this "pick a team" nonsense.   It's so baffling to me that a community that has been treated so unfairly would choose to alienate anyone.  Ever.  The comments I've read because of Romi are disgusting.  Cut it out.

end rant.

Equally as baffling is Sara's comment about Romi doing things for attention.  Umm, hey pot, this is kettle, YOU'RE BLACK.

I'm not a Romi fan by any means.  It's been apparent from the beginning that very few things about her are genuine.  And I'm not really sure what gave her the idea that looking like your current lover's ex is ever a good thing.  I'm really interested to see how the show is going to portray her relationship.  I completely welcome portraying a bisexual character.  After all, The L Word had Alice.  The show even had a completely heterosexual main character: Kit.  Unfortunately, I feel that there were certain episodes where it was apparent Showtime was attempting to appeal to a heterosexual male audience.  I hope this show doesn't take that route and alienate it's majority lesbian fan base.

Breaking up with Romi looks great on Kelsey, though.  I think it's safe to say Kelsey will not have a problem finding someone who adores her.  Wink wink, nudge nudge.

I don't even want to comment on the Whitney/Sara marriage shenanigans.  Someone made a comment on Twitter that pretty much sums up my thoughts: Gotta have to agree with the vast right wing conspiracy to keep Sara from getting married.  But only her.

I hope this entire season isn't focused on figuring out or commenting on Romi's sexuality.  She doesn't need anymore attention.  I hope there's more Kelsey.  I hope Rachel continues to pop up.  I hope the entire New York cast gains personalities.

I also highly recommend someone creating a shower scene drinking game.

Bottoms up.