Everything I have is yours.

Today is Tuesday so I know you're expecting a music post.  Not happening, kittens.  Several things have happened over the past few days and it's really been on my heart to blog about them tonight.

Today my car caught on fire.

Yes, on fire.  I was sitting at a redlight and my car just shut off.  I immediately turned on my caution lights and started digging for my phone (to call my mommy, of course) when I started hearing a woman yelling "get out of the car" and blowing her horn.  That's when I saw the smoke.  I've been having a problem with my door the past few weeks (which I was supposedly getting fixed this Friday) so it took me a little bit to actually get out of the car, which made it terrifying.  I'd barely made it away from the car when the flames started.  

So many people stopped to help me.  Complete strangers.  And y'all, I was in the middle of Redneck Central so I was not expecting that at all.  The car is totaled.  I'm really worried about how I'm going to afford to buy a new one in the very near future especially with me having to rent a car, as well, until then.  Why can't money grow on trees?  

I'm really upset about my car but when I think about the fact that I probably shouldn't even be alive it doesn't matter.  I'm so thankful for my life and it reaffirms everything I've been thinking in the past few days which is what the rest of this little bloggity blog is going to be about.

I know I'm a little late but yesterday I finally got around to listening to reading General Conference talks and taking notes.  In Elder Quentin Cook's talk he talked about how immersion in the scriptures is essential for spiritual nourishment.  He said it "inspires commitment and acts as a healing balm for hurt feelings, anger or disillusionment".  He ends with, "it's never too late to make the Savior's Atonement the foundation of our faith and lives".  The next talk is from Ann Dibbs and she said something that really tugged at my heartstrings: "With so many distractions, do we have strength, discipline and commitment to remain focused on what matters most?  Are we as well versed in gospel truths as we are in our studies, careers, hobbies, sports or our texts and tweets?  Do we actively seek to find answers to our questions by feasting on the scriptures and the teachings of the prophets?  Do we seek the confirmation of the Spirit?  The importance of gaining knowledge is an eternal principle... As our gospel knowledge increases, we will begin to feel confident in our testimonies."  

Hmm... notice a pattern?

Scriptures.  Gospel knowledge.

I'm not the worst at reading my scriptures but I'm certainly not the best.  I go through periods where I'm diligently reading daily then others where it's once or twice a week.  I'm really working on becoming more consistent with this.  I want to truly know the Gospel.  As Dibbs also mentioned in her talk, this is only the result of diligent and deliberate effort, which is a process of a lifetime.  But, I'm a firm believer of enduring until the end.  :)  I need friends to keep me accountable to this.

On the topic of friends, I really am working on having more friends that keep me accountable instead of adding more stumbling blocks in my path.  As a result, I've been spending a lot more time at home.  Alone, ha.  Please pray that God places these people in my life soon.

But back to the scriptures...

I woke up from a nap this evening to find a letter from the old pastor of my church. He's been an incredible mentor to me and I can't even begin to put into words how much he has changed my life in the past three years.  His letter further validated everything that I've been praying about over the past few weeks.  Then the letter ended with a note about... you guessed it... scripture.  "God has a plan for your life and reveals it a day at a tine.  The Word will be the best road map because it will teach you to trust, hope and believe."

And just to tie it all together, I sat and reread my notes from church on Sunday.  Pastor Sandy spoke about embracing our talents and using them for ministry.  She mentioned how God's gifts and calls to you are IRREVOCABLE and gives us grace to answer that call.  Our playing small does not serve the world or God.  I've had a calling on my heart for many years which involves teaching of scripture.  I don't want to say too much about it yet, though many of you are already aware and have been telling me the exact same thing for years.  But, Pastor Sandy also mentioned Psalm 139, which states that God has been shaping us for ministry since before we were even born.  (How crazy is that if you really think about it?!)  I feel like reading that was the giant lightning bolt from heaven sign that I've been asking for.

With all that being said, I'm ready to embrace this.  God everything I have is YOURS.  Please break my heart for the things that break yours.  Make me decrease so that you may increase.