From Jenny Schecter to Shane McCutcheon

My entire life has been one serious relationship after another where I was always the one who loved more.  I spent so much of my life waiting to be completed, thinking that I was only a minor character in someone else's tale.

Then one day, I woke up and decided I didn't want to feel that way anymore.  So, I changed.

Just like that.

Those closest to me think that I'm going through some sort of quarter life crisis as the result of a heartbreak and have initiated several interventions.  But hold the calvary, I assure you this is not the case.  This is not a cry for help, this is not an in-between stage until my Princess or Prince Charming comes along.  This is the first well-thought out life change I've ever made.

I'm not a heartless person.  I still care about things and people so much that it hurts sometimes.  It's just not in the romantic/relationship sense.  I have family, which includes my best friends, that I will catch a literal grenade for.  (Okay, maybe not catch the grenade because that's silly, but I would push them out of the way of said grenade.)  And that, is the essence of Shane.  She's a loyal friend with an incredible soul.  She treats the women in her life like the princesses they are, while still being completely honest about her lack of desire for any sort of commitment.  She likes you, but she also likes a lot of other people.  The problems arise through no fault of her own.  It's through the women who are convinced they will be that one girl who can change her.  STOP DOING THAT.  Take this for what it is.

Stop settling.  Stop this never-ending quest for "the one" that will complete you.  YOU COMPLETE YOU.  The girls (or guys for my 10% heterosexual readers) are just there to make the ride more interesting.

Tuesday Tunes: The Civil Wars

The Civil Wars new album is INCREDIBLE!  It's all I've been listening to since the day it was released.  Below are my favorite lyrics from each song...

The One That Got Away

"I miss the way you wanted me when I was staying just out of your reach, begging for the slightest touch.  Ooh, you couldn't get enough."

I Had Me A Girl

"He washed me as clean as a sinner could be."

Same Old Same Old

"‘Cause do I love you?  Oh, I do.  And I'm going to 'til I'm gone.  But if you think that I can stay in this same old, same old, well, I don't."

"I’m gonna name names.  I’m gonna call us out.  I’m gonna say it if you won’t."

Dust to Dust

"Oh, you're acting your thin disguise, all your perfectly delivered lines.  They don't fool me.  You've been lonely too long."

"Let me in the wall you've built around.  We can light a match and burn it down.  Let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flames in front of us."

"You're like a mirror reflecting me.  Takes one to know one, so take it from me."

Eavesdrop

"I don’t want to talk right now.  I just want your arms wrapped around me in this moment before it runs out."

"I can’t pull you closer than this.  It’s just you and the moon on my skin."

Devil's Backbone

"Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what do I do?  I’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you.  He’s raised on the edge of the devil’s backbone."

"There wasn’t a wrong or a right he could choose.  He did what he had to do."

"Give me the burden, give me the blame.  I’ll shoulder the load and I’ll swallow the shame.  Give me the burden, give me the blame.  How many, how many Hail Mary's is it gonna take?  Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not.  He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got."

From This Valley

"Oh the outcast dreams of acceptance just to find pure love's embrace.  Like an orphan longs for its mother, may you hold me in your grace."

Tell Mama

"Tell Mama all about it.  Tell Mama what you need.  Tell Mama what you want.  And I’ll make everything alright."

Oh, Henry

"Oh the grass is green everywhere but under me.  Or so it seems."

"Got a wedding band in the name of a wandering man.  I love the best I can."

"Oh Henry, I know you wouldn't hurt me.  Don't you know that we don't need one more grave in this town."

"Oh you and I both know that at the end of that forbidden road, there's a six-foot hole."

"When we wed, we said forever ever and a day.  The whole town heard you promise to be true.  So boy, you're gonna only give your gypsy heart to me if it's the last thing you do."

Disarm

"Disarm you with a smile and leave you like they left me here to wither in denial, the bitterness of one who's left alone."

Sacred Heart

Translating this song from English to French could never do it justice.

D'arline

"I could get over you, but please don’t ask me to.  Just so you know, you’ll always be the only one, even when you’re not.  You’ll always be the only one, even when you’re gone."

"You always said you want me to be happy, but happiness was having you here with me.  You’ll always be the one that’s standing in my way.  And that’s okay."

Tuesday Tunes - New Anthems

I'm obsessed with these two songs right now.  They're a pretty accurate descriptions of my outlook on life at the moment...

What The Hell - Avril Lavigne

You say that I'm messin' with your head
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
All 'cause I was making out with your friend
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Love hurts whether it's right or wrong
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I can't stop, 'cause I'm having too much fun
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

You're on your knees, beggin' please "stay with me"
But honestly, I just need to be a little crazy
All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"

What, What, What, What the hell?

So what if I go out on a million dates?
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You never call or listen to me anyway
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't get me wrong, I just need some time to play
(Yeah)

You're on your knees, beggin' please "stay with me" (Va fan!)
But honestly, I just need to be a little crazy (Crazy!)

All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"

La la la la la la la la whoa whoa [x2]

(La la la la la la la la)
You say that I'm messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
(La la la la la la la la)
Yeah, I am messing with your head
When I'm messing with you in bed

All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"

La, la,
La la la la la,
La,
La la la la la, la

Thanks For Nothing - Fefe Dobson

The best part of my life since you've been gone 

Is to sing as loud as I want in the car

I’m turnin’ it up without you

It's the best part, it's the best part

Take as long a shower as I want

Take my time to put my make-up on

Live my life without you

It's the best part, it's the best part

You made it easier to let you go (let you go)

You made it to say

Thanks for nothing

Thanks for giving my life back

Thanks for showing me what I don't need

Thank you that's a wrap 

Thanks for leaving

Now I'm gonna cel-O-brate

Cause my nights are free 

And I can be, with anyone I like

Thanks goodbye

The best part of my life since you've been gone 

Is waking up in someone else's arms

And feeling beautiful.

It's the best part, it's the best part

My game is stronger than it's ever been

Turning heads whenever I walk in 

If you could see me now

It's the best part, it's the best part

You made it easier to let you go (let you go)

You made it to say

Thanks for nothing

Thanks for giving my life back

Thanks for showing me what I don't need

Thank you that's a wrap 

Thanks for leaving

Now I'm gonna cel-O-brate

Cause my nights are free 

And I can be, with anyone I like

Thanks goodbye

If you hadn't been so cold

Then I'd never be this hot

And I never felt so good.

I'm just saying thanks a lot

Thanks for giving my life back

Thanks for showing me what I don't need

Thank you that's a wrap

Thanks for leaving

Now I'm gonna cel-O-brate

Cause my nights are free 

And I can be, with anyone I like

Thanks for nothing

Thanks for giving my life back

Thanks for showing me what I don't need

Thank you that's a wrap 

Thanks for leaving

Now I'm gonna cel-O-brate

Cause my nights are free 

And I can be, with anyone I like

Thanks goodbye

15 Things I Want To Ask Your Wife

1. Do you love her?

2. Do you know she can't break a pinky promise? If she lies and tells you nothing is wrong, do you know the secret to getting the truth is through a pinky promise?

3. Do you love her?

4. When was the last time she wrote a poem about you? Or even a Facebook status?

5. Do you love her?

6. Do you know what movie makes her cry? Do you know in what scene the tears start to form? As its happening, do you pretend not to notice? Or do you wrap your arms around her and try to get her to stop? Or... do you know she doesn't really like to be touched and that showing emotion is human and the movie is beautifully sad, so you just cry with her?

7. Do you love her?

8. When she's drinking because she's upset, do you let her drown her sorrows or do you take her cup away? Do you even notice the difference between a normal night of drinking and a night of drinking that's masking something?

9. Do you love her?

10. Do her kisses still give you butterflies? What about even just seeing her? Does your heart skip a beat at just the thought of seeing her face when you walk through the door?

11. Do you love her?

12. Do you know of the demons that keep her awake at night? Do you know the songs and words to say to chase the demons away?

13. Do you love her?

14. Do you remind her of dates and things that have to get done? I'm sure you know that she still won't remember even if she writes it down, right?

15. Do you love her... the way I love her?

I won't love a ghost.

I had this incredibly long post written out for almost a week and was just waiting to post it today.  Then, I decided against it.  She doesn't deserve those words right now.  My thoughts on love and relationships for this week can be summed up by a quote from Vampire Diaries.

Fight for it. Feel something... Because if you don't, you're going to lose me forever. I won't love a ghost for the rest of my life. - Vampire Diaries