It took me a really long time to get to this point but I now wear this shirt proudly and quite regularly... not for the organization itself but for the sisters it gave me...
If you've ever had even just one conversation with me, you know that I interned for To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) many many moons ago. After the first year of returning to the "real world" I became very jaded about my experiences there. A certain situation arose where I felt I was treated very unfairly and to add to that my sisters started having lives of their own and we all started drifting apart.
Fast forward to now. Over four years later.
My sister Danielle married her best friend in Central Park today. I've gotten the chance to really get to know Barbara (her now wife) over the past few months and I couldn't be happier. Danielle and I have become so much closer in the past year. She's really helped me become comfortable in my own skin. She's been a huge part of
Open Our Eyes and I'm so inspired by her courage. I'm really excited to see her soon... and by soon, I mean when it's no longer cold in New York.
These two also got hitched. On the left is Heidi. Prior to the Internship, I creeped on her the most. Thank you, Facebook! Haha. I wanted to BE her. I still do sometimes. She's so strong and confident and I really admire her for that. We come from two completely different backgrounds so we see the world a lot differently. I'm so thankful for that because it's allowed me to learn so much from her. (Most recently about penises... stay tuned for my blog on circumcision! Haha.) On the right is MaryEllen, who drives me BANANAS and seems to think I have too much sass in my small frame. :) I recently went through and read old messages between us. Before we even met, she gave me more encouragement than anyone else in my life. Her heart is always in the right place and I'm so happy that she's found someone to share her love with. I really hope I get to move back to California soon. I want us all to raise our little hippie kids together.
Does this tattoo look familiar? :) That's Becca's side and I have the same one on my arm. We both got them for mostly the same reasons. She was the first friend I made, mostly because of our hourly "meetings", haha. We learned so much about each other in just the first conversation. We'd faced a lot of the same demons and I was so encouraged by her strength. I still am. We spent the Internship attached at the hip but now we don't talk as much. I miss her. But, it's not a bad missage (yeah, I just made up a word!) because I know I can pick up the phone at any time and nothing will have changed.
Paramore was one of my favorite experiences from staying with Monica (the fiery red head in the front) the entire show because everyone else couldn't handle being right in the middle of the crowd madness to Heidi forgetting that she's no longer in California and thus can not drive like a maniac. Speaking of Monica, it became quite apparent that we were separated at birth. I'm really excited that we're on the same career path, which means our lives are going to intersect forever. I love the way she can connect with me on a level that no one else can: through music.
She's not even looking at the road. More proof that Heidi can't drive as if me saying she's from California wasn't enough proof.
Elizabeth, on the left, is such a bundle of joy. We bonded over our love of obscure emo lyrics and gay men. She's hands down the funniest girl I've ever met. That's what I love the most about her - she can
always make me smile. I don't think I've ever met anyone more opposite of me than this lady in the middle, Sophie. I remember picking her up from the airport on our first night in Florida and her threatening to throw me out of a moving vehicle because I was playing Britney Spears. I knew from that moment we would get along just fine. Haha. She says whatever she wants whenever she wants. She's also not afraid to stand out in case you didn't guess that from the hair. Every time I think of her I think of those Miranda Lambert lyrics (except reversed):
she's got a mouth like a sailor and mine is more like a Hallmark card. She gave me her copy of
Blue Like Jazz and it changed my life forever. It's taken four years, but her
be yourself and fuck everyone else attitude is starting to rub off on me. Whitney is on the right. I know I've overused this statement but I'm SO encouraged by her strength. I loved watching her over the years come into the person that she is today. I wish we were a lot closer than we currently are. She inspires me so much, especially with her role in
GRRRL Camp.
I tell this story at all of the
Open Our Eyes events but I've ever actually told her. This pretty mama is Cynthia and she's the reason for Open Our Eyes. The first night I met her she talked about how depression and suicide were such taboo subjects in the Hispanic community. Being a minority, I related to this, as well. We talked of how not being able to talk about these things because they were "white issues" which causing many people to never get help. That summer I revamped Open Our Eyes and our focus became on minority groups. I'm so thankful for her and the impact that conversation had on my life. She's one of the most beautiful people I know inside and out.
This is my soulmate. Sarah. We laugh about it now but this was the only picture I took of her. Why? Because I was not a fan of her existence. Haha. We didn't speak two words to each other until our last night in Florida. That night we sat on the front porch for hours and I told her what I was too afraid to share with everyone else that night. She listened. And she understood. I was secretly fighting some of the same demons she'd dealt with. We talked almost everyday for the next two years. She helped me get over the hardest part of my life. She was a bazillion miles away and the only one who knew about my addiction and still stuck around until I beat it. I can't thank her enough. We still talk quite a bit but these days our conversations consist of what I could possibly eat while in Africa, when I'm going to marry her super cute brother and her teaching me about how babies are born. She's been a huge part of everything in my life in the past four years and will continue to be for all eternity. I miss seeing her face so much it makes my heart hurt. The first few years were really hard but now I'm able to listen to On Your Porch by The Format all the way through. I still cry because I miss her but lately it's been more of a happy cry because I'm so thankful to have such an incredible sister and even though she's more than an arm's reach away, we've got Skype. :)
I'm not the girl in this picture anymore. It's interesting because when Becca took this picture, I remember thinking that I'd never be happier than I was in that very moment. Little did I know that within a year, my life would begin to completely fall apart. Now as I type this, I think that this is the happiest I'll ever be. It's not because things are going so well in my life by any means. It's because I'm looking back on my experience with fondness for the first time in years. And for the first time in years, I'm really becoming close to (most of) my sisters again.
I think back on this night quite often. I don't think any of us anticipated what would happen. I wasn't brave enough to share my story but was so encouraged by the strength of my sisters. I still remember every story and I'm still strengthened by them daily. Nothing in my life will ever compare to sitting against this wall for hours listening to my sisters pour their hearts out about their struggles and redemption. This night was my salvation and I don't think I could ever express how grateful I am to have shared it these people.
There are four girls I didn't mention here but not because I don't love them dearly. We've just grown apart and it's taken me a really long time to realize this but that's completely okay. That's life. But, these girls are forever ingrained in my heart. They really are my sisters and I couldn't ask for a better family. <3
